Incontinence

Fifteen years ago, Lieneke (now 41) gave birth to her first child. After giving birth, she suffered from urine leakage when sneezing, laughing, walking and exercising. It is a disability she is learning to live with. And always bring an extra pair of underpants for unwanted accidents.

Lieneke says the delivery went well. The midwife was even euphoric, saying “what a fantastic delivery. But Lieneke herself thinks otherwise. A cut had to be made, which she experienced as “failure. She felt she was not being taken seriously in this.

No pink cloud

Lieneke expected a pink cloud after giving birth. It stayed out. She felt no love for her baby and dared not tell anyone. In this, too, she felt failing and alone. To make matters worse, she felt no contact with her husband. She had expected a family doing things with the three of them, but her husband couldn’t do anything with the baby and dropped out. She was alone, along with her baby for whom she felt no love.

From this pain, she started to do her best tremendously. She began to please her child and husband as much as possible, thinking this was love. She digitized herself away and did not set boundaries with respect to her husband and child.

Years of depression follow and she decides to move away from her husband. This saddens her greatly, as she would have liked the three of them to live in harmony and grow old together.

Awareness, insight and acceptance

During the HeartConnection trainings, she gains awareness and insights into her patterns and incontinence. This allows for acceptance of how things have gone or haven’t gone. She learns that her body responds to this, in her case with urine leakage. She creates a job that suits her. This gives her great pleasure. She becomes more confident. She dares to say “no” more and gets friends she dares to be open with. She is learning what she likes to do.

The story of her incontinence

Being honest with herself about how she really feels creates peace in her life. Her body also responds to this. She loses a few pounds and starts exercising. While exercising, she repeats her affirmations, “I am worthy of having a fun life. I am worthy of setting my limits. I am worthy of having healthy urinary muscles and ureters and bladder. Thank you urine for teaching me to set my limits”. Urinary leakage becomes less. This gives Lieneke even more confidence and love for her body.

Lieneke understood her story of incontinence and she no longer suffers from incontinence.

Conflict impacts are unprocessed traumas

Lieneke encounters the following conflict inserts in her story:

• Self-esteem conflict (midwife does not hear Lieneke)
• seizure conflict (snap during delivery)
• identity conflict (new role as a mother)
• kibble conflict (she cannot digest the new situation with baby and husband)
• existential conflict (mother-soul-only, abandoned)
• Learn all about conflict impacts during HeartConnection Training

The incontinence is related to the conflict impact Territory marking outside: the connection with her husband falls away after childbirth. As a result, she lacks his protection.

There is also a conflict insertion Territory marking inside: in the house she could not mark her territory because of her husband’s dominance, because he worked at home.

Click here for Mik’s incontinence story at MS-ALS. Her experience is completely different and therefore each incontinence story is unique.

Incontinence Questions

• Ever had cystitis?
• Where is the place in my life? Children, grandchildren, partner. Can I mark my territory?
• Where can I be myself?
• Reminder family tree-> left trail of urine in war. Because of this, this person died?
• In what situation do you feel insecure, powerless?
• Can you speak up in any situation? When do you struggle with this?
• Were you able to put down your territory? At work?
• Did you choose your studies, work from your passion or what your parents/partner expected of you?
• Can you mark yourself on an intellectual level? Spiritual? Hobbies? And so on.
• When in your life did you feel powerless to speak out? To convince someone?
• Are you happily married? Or are you missing something in your daily life, work, relationship, and so on. With urination, you say, as it were, “Hello! Here I am!”
• Is there a predator (enemy) in your territory?
• Is there someone you’d rather not have around?

Click herefor more information and life story of bedwetting.

Click here for more information and explanation bladder, urinary tract, renal pelvis.

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