Fear of failure

Children with learning and behavioral problems often also have fear of failure. Fear of failure can take many forms, depending on the nature of a deliverable or the behavior you are uncertain about. For example, the fear of failure in athletic performance (a sports competition, gymnastics class) falls under motor fear of failure. Fear of failure in cognitive performance (homework, test, driving test, an entrance or final exam) is cognitive fear of failure. And in social activities (speaking, giving a lecture) you may suffer from social fear of failure. Exam anxiety and stage fright can also be considered forms of fear of failure. Appearance, social behavior or sexual performance can be reasons for fear of failure in adults.

Characteristics of fear of failure

Perspiration, procrastination, crazy thoughts, fretting, shaky hands, insomnia and heart palpitations cause students, for example, to forget things they would know under normal circumstances. That’s called a blackout. The resulting (extreme) stress and anxiety then have a negative effect. This can lead to a vicious cycle. Extreme forms of fear of failure are counted among anxiety disorders.

Fear of failure and self-esteem

The following beliefs come into play with fear of failure:

• I can’t.
• I can’t.
• I fail anyway.

As a result, you experience fear of failure again at the next opportunity. It even gets worse, because after all, “last time it failed too.

The story of Robin

Robin (10) is giving a speaking engagement at school and feels she is being laughed at. For the speaking engagement after that, she assumes she will be laughed at again. She becomes nervous and forgetful. She is indeed being laughed at again. A pattern has been created in the subconscious.

Deprogramming

We will work to deprogram this pattern. We find out how Mom and Dad used to feel in school. And that this pattern of Robin is a repetition of that. Within HeartConnection, therefore, there is no blame, victim and judgment. Generations upon generations we receive the legacies of our ancestors as well as their talents and perseverance. The parents and Robin understand this story, she engages with it and gains new, positive experiences.

Learn all about fear of failure at HeartConnection Training. What story does your fear of failure tell?

Rachel – Dyslexia, Fear of Failure and Panic Attacks

Rachel (18) comes to me in the year she has to take final VWO exams. She has extreme fear of failure, which prevents her from learning and produces poor results. Rachel explains that she has dyslexia (discovered in grade 8). This challenge gives her a lot of stress. She suffers panic attacks in response, both at home and in class, has severe sleep problems and many nightmares. Her concentration is very poor and the stress causes her to argue with her sister. She thinks she will fail her final exams because of this. In the HeartConnection sessions, we talk about her daily life, what she runs into and what she finds difficult.

Birth sister

Rachel is learning to gain insight into her actions; this gives her peace of mind. We find out that Rachel had a lot of trouble giving birth to her sister when she was three. Her parents’ attention suddenly went to her little sister, whereas in the three years before, she received all the attention from mom and dad every day. Rachel feels she has been removed from the throne. She thinks she is no longer important and becomes jealous of her sister. Her sister’s presence continuously stresses Rachel, because she believes, “I’m not important; I don’t matter; I’m not worthwhile. In grade 3, Rachel is having trouble reading.

‘I am important’

We are going to work on accepting her sister, and her birth. Rachel begins to believe more and more, “I am important; I matter; I am worthwhile. She quits school for six months and goes to live with her aunt during that time. Rachel finds her peace, she becomes more confident, sleeps better and her panic attacks disappear. After six months, she returned home and successfully passed her VWO exam in partial certificates. The relationship with her sister is good, they are not friends, but accept each other.

Dyslexia as a talent

Rachel is now pursuing a college degree and as a side job she helps children with dyslexia learn to read. Dyslexia is now her talent! Rachel guides the children lovingly, she gives them confidence. Still growing her own self-confidence. Extraordinary and beautiful. Thank you for your confidence, courage and perseverance, Rachel!

Each complaint tells your own story

Trauma (impacts) causes a physical process (cell decrease or increase) that also changes character. The biology of the body/psyche answers all complaints.

CT scans and conflict impacts

The impacts are visible on CT scans. These impacts are related to dyslexia, as you can see from Rachel’s example:

• Hover constellation = double fear conflict (terror fear and territory fear) =
• Fear of failure
• Existential conflict = birth sister
• Manic hover constellation (male side active) = panic attacks
• Separation conflict with floating constellation = dyslexia
• You will receive detailed explanations of CT scans and conflict insertions during the HeartConnection Training.

Learn all about fears and conflict insertions HeartConnection Training