Speaking Fear

For his work, Cas (33) regularly speaks in front of groups. This makes him insecure. He then suffers from palpitations beforehand, sweaty hands and sleeps badly. The moment he stands in front of the group, he is nervous at first. After a few minutes, he calms down, but then has to pee tremendously. He wants to get rid of his “nerves” because he really likes his job.

During our conversation, it quickly becomes apparent that Cas had a fear of failure as a child. Being on the grass for the first time as a toddler was roaring. Swimming for the first time was anxious. Going to school for the first time resulted in bedwetting. His first sexual experience did not succeed because of nerves.

Fear of failure during pregnancy

We find out that his fear of failure arose during pregnancy, when Cas was still in the womb. Cas is the oldest child and his mother was left alone by her husband during her pregnancy. This caused tremendous uncertainty in mother: ‘Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to cope on my own? What will other people think of me? I have failed as a mother. What will become of my child without a father?’

Connecting-melting-letting go

Cas works on his beliefs during the HeartConnection trainings, to connect, meld and release with them. Cas is still tense before he has to speak in front of a group, but these are positive nerves that help him be alert. The urge to urinate is no longer there while speaking. Only after he has spoken will he pee. Through positive experiences, Cas gains more self-confidence and he now enjoys speaking in front of groups.