First aid for my child’s anger – blog 7

Help my child has an anger attack!

What does this do to you as a parent? What do you feel? Anger is okay!

Say to your child:

• “Good you are angry
• Just throw it out
• It’s allowed
• What else are you angry about”

Breathe

• Keep breathing keep breathing
• Feel what it does to you as a parent, feel your body and your own emotions thoughts in the moment. This moment brings you to your TPM pain, unprocessed stress. At a quiet moment, go connect-merge-release VVL.
• TPM = The Painful Moment
• VVL = Connect-Merge-Release
• Clickhere for the 10 basic principles.

The child is safe with you

The child throws out anger because it is safe with you as a parent.

Thank you for keeping your child safe.

Hug

When the child is calm again. Give the child a hug (if the child wants it), and say: “It’s great that you expressed your anger. If you are angry about something, this can always be there.”

From 3-4 years old, the child can talk which makes him/her angry. If a child is allowed to show emotions with you as a parent from an early age, is allowed to be himself: this is worth gold.

Observe yourself

When a child has an anger attack. Observe yourself. What do you feel as a parent? This can be uttered at the same time.

Advanced during anger attack:

“Dear, you are so angry. I feel powerless now, this is mine. Anger is yours. I feel sad, thank you for letting me feel this now. Thank you for expressing your anger. It may there be, come on. You have your emotions, I have my emotions, everything may be there”

Make appointments

You can always make arrangements with the child. “What do you want me to do at the moment when you are angry?” Some kids want to run away. Others want to hit/kick. This is not always convenient. Go learn that anger is an energy, it is allowed out of the body. It is the peak of the solution (epi-crisis), see two-phasedness click here.

Perhaps the child wants to be touched during an anger attack, for example sitting on your lap, or that the child wants to be hugged during an anger attack. Perhaps the child wants to lie on the floor and throw out all the anger. Be creative. Find a solution together.

After attack comes peace

An anger attack is an intense moment for you and the child. After the attack, take a rest, provide warmth. Have something warm, tea or soup. Sit and lie down on the bed with your child under a blanket. Watch a relaxing movie. The child may also want to play. Take good care of yourself and your child.

Your child’s anger is an encounter with yourself

First aid for anger is a meeting with yourself. The child tells a story. Go investigate!

• What makes you angry?
• When and in what situation were you angry during your child’s pregnancy?
• How did the delivery go?
• Which anger may still be processed, met?
• Is the child angry from birth: what happened during conception, pregnancy, birth?
• Is the child angry from a certain age. For example from 7 years. What happened on your 7th year (both mother and father)?

Do you want to investigate further?

Make an appointment with HeartConnection Practitioner.

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Join our community to receive all questions and support. Click here for a subscription. Want to read more stories about childhood anger? Clickhere for anger attacks by Monica (8), clickhere for depression and anger from Peter (4).