Shoulder

Lia comes spontaneously with two friends to the HeartConnection lecture in Mijdrecht at the end of 2017. Here she asks her question about her “frozen shoulder” that she does really want to get rid of. From 2008-2010, she suffered from her right shoulder and since 2016 from her left shoulder.

What does a shoulder symbolize?
We first go through what the shoulders do. Putting your shoulders to the wheel. Wear. Shrug. An arm around you. Embracing the other person, you do the same with your shoulders and arms. What symbolizes a frozen shoulder?
1. Who do you want to embrace? Who do you want to be embraced by?
2. Where in your life did you get stuck? Who in the family has been detained?
3. Who is your predator?
4. Blame and accusation

Smart system

At first, Lia can’t place that much. When I ask her who was imprisoned, she cannot initially answer. What happened in 2008 is also a mystery to her. Her friend can answer several things, though. Extraordinary to see how smart the human system is: if you don’t know anything, you don’t have to go to your painful emotions. We continue to ask further. This yields the following story.

Lia’s family secret

In 2005, Lia’s mother died of shortness of breath (COPD) at the age of 75. The significance of COPD includes (death) anxiety. What was her mother anxious about? She lived in a little world of her own, in the art world and owned an art store. She was especially lonely and spoke little, was emotionally closed. I ask her what her mother had to keep her mouth shut about? Suddenly, Lia tells me that she went to visit her aunt in Australia in 2013. Her nieces then told her the following family secret. Lia’s grandfather was from Friesland, her grandmother from Germany; they lived in southern Limburg. Grandpa had people in hiding and they pretended to cooperate with the Germans at the same time. A story I hear more often when I work in southern Limburg. After the war, Lia’s grandparents were rounded up and imprisoned by the Dutch. So both Germans and Dutch were predators. During the war, because of the people in hiding, her mother was not allowed to say anything. She had to keep her mouth shut and lived in fear. Her home was totally unsafe because of the people in hiding. This has a huge impact on children, including Lia’s mother. After the war, her parents had been stuck doing good work. For the rest of her life, she lived in fear.

Lia’s shoulder tells the story of her mother and ancestors, which has never been processed.

Once parents and ancestors have not processed their tragedy, it comes to the younger generation. But why did her frozen shoulder return in 2016? Lia says that in 2016, her son decided to drive to Singapore with a friend [of reizen?]. As a mother, she is immensely proud of her son. But what she really felt was the fear that her son would be arrested. The fear that her mother and grandparents also felt in WWII and that became a reality after the war. Her frozen shoulder tells her, “I have tremendous fear that my son will get stuck.”

All four questions have now been answered

1. Lia is afraid of not being able to embrace her son anymore, just as her mother could not embrace her parents after the war because they had been rounded up.
2. Lia’s grandparents have been stuck. The people in hiding were also “trapped” in her childhood home. Lia’s mother experienced WWII very consciously, she was ten-fifteen years old at the time. She continued to live her life in fear, dying of COPD (conflict impact agony).
3. Both the Germans and the Dutch were the predators. The moment her son passed Russia, Lia calmed down: her son was out of the war zone. This is how the subconscious mind works. It is still alive as it was in WWII because the subconscious does not distinguish between past-present-future. Because this drama is unprocessed, it is still active in her subconscious.
4. Her grandfather and grandmother were found guilty. Admittedly unjustified, but that makes it worse.

Sharing with brother

Lia understood the story of her frozen shoulder. She quickly goes to her brother to share this family secret. “Because he has burnout and that can come from this,” says Lia. She gives the right answer; the subconscious knows everything perfectly. Because Lia has felt, experienced and understood this story she can connect with it, the drama has begun to melt into her body, only to be able to let it go now. By very consciously saying, “This is the story of my mother, grandfather and grandmother, this is what I am letting go of now, it belongs to them.”

What story do your shoulders tell?

After so many years of therapies, Lia finally has answers to her frozen shoulder. Grateful, relieved, lighter and impressed, she goes home. “I could never have imagined my shoulders telling this story, thank you shoulders for carrying so much all these years, this you may now let go!”

Shoulders tell your own story

During the HeartConnection trainings, you come to the answer yourself. You become a director of your own life patterns during HeartConnection Training.

• Shoulders are also related to beginning of life, birth.
• How was your birth?
• Home or hospital?
• Had an intervention? Forceps delivery, initiated, IV, epidural, vacuum pump, C-section, and so on.
• Authority during birth? How did your parents experience this? How was relationship with midwife, gynecologist?
• What was the atmosphere like during birth? Aggressiveness? Anger? Powerlessness?
• Frustration? Did things go differently than planned? And so on?
• How did mother experience childbirth?
• How did father experience childbirth?