ADD

Every complaint or illness tells your story. Below is a very special story from Sanne. A question brings Sanne into her own power and clarity. Her complaints were not being able to concentrate, not being able to follow a conversation, absent, fuzzy, chaos, poor recall of things, not being fully aware of her body. Regularly, this is called ADD, the loss of concentration, among other things. In elementary school, a child might be diagnosed with ADD with the note: “inadequate functioning of automatic memory. But when you find out the story of this complaint? Then what happens?

Sanne’s story

At last HeartConnection Training Day, we were asked by Marjolein; who or what do you want to be? At that question, a flood of emotions came over me. Poehee what is happening all of a sudden? And then immediately it occurred to me:

I would love to be there all the way!

Marjolein had already caught my “vibe” (I was already emptying my tear ducts, so it was obvious) and asked me to come forward. I felt the strong desire that I wanted to be totally there, and so Marjolein asked me, when are you not totally there and what does that do to you?

I have felt for a long time that I let a lot pass me by, and I don’t do it consciously. I can often remember conversations only half and often not at all. And that always gave me a nasty feeling. To myself and to the other, as if I am not interested in the other. And that’s just it, only my thoughts run away with me and so I can no longer follow the conversation.

I could feel a strong swirling energy in the middle of my chest area. After feeling it for a while, I noted that it has become more since my accident. At ¹⁸, I experienced a solid moped accident. When I was brought into the hospital by ambulance, there stood my father in full anxiety and agony.

I clearly remember my father grabbing my hand and telling me to fight, I was not allowed to die yet.

And that’s what I started doing. I had to experience very many and intense pains in the hospital and regularly I was not taken seriously in my pain description. I was adjusting according to a nurse and a surgeon. I felt so small and not taken seriously. But I fought on!

One incident in particular has been the biggest shock afterwards. I had a ruptured liver, and the drains to drain wound fluids were no longer properly in place. I had to get 2 or maybe even 3 new drains in my abdomen.

I was given morphine, but diseased tissue does not anesthetize well I heard afterwards. I experienced so much pain above my pain threshold that I probably went with my feelings out of my (lower) body at that point to still survive this process. I can still feel myself lying on the operating table where I was given 2 new drains “as awake as can be” during which the entire hospital was allowed to enjoy my screams.

Then my body turned off “something” so I no longer have to experience everything consciously. And that mechanism was still regularly active until recently.

Since feeling through this, I can now feel my body much more. I feel more grounded and I am calmer in my head. The fog is gone and I feel clarity and peace in my mind?!?!? And I have been experiencing this fog in my head for a very long time. And that was really an irritation point that really bothered me as well.

I’m back up with a clean clear head now and staying in my body!

And what/who do I want to be?

Being in the here and now! I feel safe and visible and enjoy all that life has to offer me.

The story continues…..

The Symbolism of My iPhone

My phone was broken on Saturday, after also a beautiful HeartConnection session on the story of my eyes. I stick to letting go of old things and gaining insights. I had just stopped the insurance, and fortunately it ran for another month. So I made a claim and had to chuckle a bit that I was able to take advantage of the insurance at the last minute.

To get the phone fixed, the “find my iPhone” feature must be turned off.

That was a thingy and then I had accidentally deleted my entire phone. Oops!

Insight

Heyyyy but if I turn off my own visibility, I erase myself!!!? WOW that is some obvious symbolism. Okay thank you iPhone. I will no longer turn off my visibility!

But also erased all the beautiful photos from the weekend. Shit!!!!! Oh wait, this too, of course, means something. Something about a new beginning with a clean slate? I can embrace it and it is good!